By Oscar Bluth
Inmate #24601

Out of all the movies that involve a prison breakout, none of them have an ounce of reality in them.

Pull toilet off the wall and dig a hidden tunnel? REBAR. Can’t use your spoon to dig past that.

Hire outside team of mercenaries or gang members to break you out? Can’t contact them, and all the phone numbers the inmates give you in exchange for favors of the intimate nature, well they’re fake, but you don’t find that out until after the deed is done. Or in my case, deeds. I should have known better the second time; it was the same guy.

What am I going to do?

    By Oscar Bluth
Inmate #24601

This place is getting to me more and more. Everyone’s out of their minds! Even your cellmate who has been “saved by Jesus” can turn on you for simple things, like using the toilet where he does his so-called baptisms. My head still hurts from a week ago when he used his bible to smack me repeatedly for “being a whorish sinner”. All I said was how much I could use some Afternoon Delight. How was I supposed to know that that’s what the other inmates call taking showers at noon? I don’t know how much longer I can take these beatings. If anyone is reading this blog, I’m Oscar Bluth and I’m the innocent one!

    By Oscar Bluth
Inmate #24601

I was given laundry duty today. As I was putting clothes into the washer, I saw that there was a man hiding in the laundry bin. After telling him that the laundry isn’t sent out of prison to be cleaned, he decided to take his anger out on me, Oscar Bluth, NOT GEORGE SR.! It was a good thing there were so many rags to soak up the blood. I decided to rest until the bleeding stopped, but then a guard came in and took away my courtyard privileges for not working. I explained what happened but he didn’t believe me, calling me a “liar” and mocking me for being “Omar, not George Sr.”. It’s OSCAR, and I really am him! My name is Oscar Bluth and I am not a liar. I need to get out of here!

    By Oscar Bluth
Inmate #24601

Today the prison psychologist gave me a poetry assignment, she thinks I need to get my emotions out on paper and maybe then I’ll accept my new life here and start fitting in with the other inmates. I keep telling her I don’t want to fit in because I’m not George Sr., I’m Oscar Bluth! I’d like to see her survive ping-pong night – I’ve learned to do it with a smile…A SMILE! And she’s just one more person I can add the list of people not reading my blog. What does it take to get people to read my f’ing blog?! What’s more interesting, an innocent man in prison blogging for his life or “Snuppy” the first cloned dog? If anyone out there in cyberspace is listening – I’m Oscar Bluth and here are two haikus.


The damage is done
Should I try to run? No, no.
I have a boyfriend“Bitch no more”

Mister rapist be wary
I been working out

    By Oscar Bluth
Inmate #24601

It’s been a week since my last entry. I can explain. Last Thursday, I was counting ants in the prison yard and it 
was a scorcher but I remember, I started killing the ants with my feet, yelling “Die you little black bastards, die!” 
I got stabbed – a whole lot. 
When I woke up in the infirmary, I was surprised to find 
out that my stabber was the leader of an equal rights 
gang called: RAVIOLI or Rapists Against Violence Against Insects. When I went to apologize for killing the ants, I pointed out that ravioli doesn’t work as an acronym and they stabbed me again. Please God get me out of here! I think that’s blood on the keyboard. Yep, it is. I’m Oscar Bluth and I need medical attention! 

    By Oscar Bluth
Inmate #24601

Well, since no one submitted any nicknames I was forced 
to give one to myself. In retrospect choosing the nickname “Doobie” wasn’t the best choice. 

    By Oscar Bluth
Inmate #24601

After several weeks in the “big house” I’ve come to accept 
I might be here for a while. Although this is the most horrible experience to date, I’m growing accustomed to 
the pain. I do all that I can to keep my chin up. The other night before lockdown, just after my sweet mate (I don’t think that’s the term used) finished, I said to myself, “It’s getting better, you didn’t weep this time.” In this 
acceptance I’ve decided to give myself a nickname…I 
haven’t thought of it yet but I will…what else do I have 
to do all day?! Well, when I’m not being gang ban…anyway 
a nickname in prison is like a real name on the outside, it’s what people call you. I’d like to have a name that garners respect or at least stops me from being someone’s bitch. That’s where you readers come in…I’m Oscar Bluth and I’m taking nickname submissions.


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